![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arsenicwaltzThe girl paces listlessly in front of the Grand Window at the far end of the ballroom, distractedly watching the skeletal dancers in their whirling finery. She carries a long-stemmed glass in one hand, spinning it restlessly with the other so that the dark green-blue liquid inside it sloshes. Her petticoats rustle beneath her, and her feet move unconsciously in time with the waltz, but it is obvious that she is miles and miles from here.
Desire lounges on an overstuffed fainting couch nearby, watching her with disinterest. As the girl passes by the great swathes of velvet curtain, a long, dark-furred arm reaches out, claws extended towards her. They edge ever closer, closer to her shoulder and finally touch...
She whirls, her eyes somewhat unfocused, then frowns.
"Oh, it's only you Eddie. Couldn't you see I was a little... distracted?"
A voice comes from the shadows inside the folds of curtain, a voice like dry fall leaves skittering over cobbled streets on a blustery night.
"Yesss, mistresss. But we were afraid that mistress would spill on herself and that would not be well." The clawed arm reaches out, with a supplicating gesture.
The girl sighs resignedly, and hands over her glass.
"That was only my third, Eddie, and you all know it."
"Yesss, but not all intoxication comes from food or drink."
"Or smoke." Desire adds helpfully from the corner.
As the dark servant spirits himself away, the girl turns on Desire, her now empty hands clenched beside her.
"Why are you still here? We've had our dance, you delivered the Lord Shaper's gift, and yet you're somehow not content to leave. Why?"
Desire laughs: a beautiful, heartbreaking sound. "Then I am not to linger? Surely you don't prefer the company of your silent friends? The skinless ones, I mean, but the green eyed one was..."
The girl turns, huddling in on herself. "Not real. I know. I know."
"I never said that."
"You said they were dreams."
"Yes, but that doesn't make them not real. Especially not in this between-kingdom in which you reside."
"But he is gone."
"Well yes. He has other obligations in the Lord Shaper's realm. Did you expect to get him for keeps?"
"Yes. No. I..."
"He likes you very much you know. He'd like it if you could keep him."
"I didn't know... that that was an option. Would the Lord Shaper be so willing to part with one of his creatures?"
Desire guffaws. "He is hardly the Lord Shaper's sole possession, my dear. Think of him as a contract employee."
The girl is downcast, pondering. "I would like... I would like very much to have him back, if that's possible."
"Permanently?" There is an uncomfortable ring of importance to the word which makes the girl flinch.
"I don't know about permanently. I don't even know about long-term. I don't know if I'm even fit to have him back!"
"But you'd like to. Don't bother lying to me, I can feel it burning inside you like a furnace. What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of losing this!" she flings her arms wide, encompassing the ballroom. "I'm afraid of sharing the realm I've built, that I've sweated, bled and struggled for! I'm afraid to lose myself in another man, afraid that next time, I might not find my way back again!" Her hands clasp and unclasp involuntarily, and she stares out the window. "It was so very comfortable in his oblivion. I'm afraid of how easily I might slip away into one that's similar. It's taken so long to remember who I am."
Desire looks at her over steepled fingers. "A trial period then? Some saftey built in, in case you feel yourself falling again?"
She takes a shuddering breath, eyes downcast.
"Sure. Why not."
Desire lounges on an overstuffed fainting couch nearby, watching her with disinterest. As the girl passes by the great swathes of velvet curtain, a long, dark-furred arm reaches out, claws extended towards her. They edge ever closer, closer to her shoulder and finally touch...
She whirls, her eyes somewhat unfocused, then frowns.
"Oh, it's only you Eddie. Couldn't you see I was a little... distracted?"
A voice comes from the shadows inside the folds of curtain, a voice like dry fall leaves skittering over cobbled streets on a blustery night.
"Yesss, mistresss. But we were afraid that mistress would spill on herself and that would not be well." The clawed arm reaches out, with a supplicating gesture.
The girl sighs resignedly, and hands over her glass.
"That was only my third, Eddie, and you all know it."
"Yesss, but not all intoxication comes from food or drink."
"Or smoke." Desire adds helpfully from the corner.
As the dark servant spirits himself away, the girl turns on Desire, her now empty hands clenched beside her.
"Why are you still here? We've had our dance, you delivered the Lord Shaper's gift, and yet you're somehow not content to leave. Why?"
Desire laughs: a beautiful, heartbreaking sound. "Then I am not to linger? Surely you don't prefer the company of your silent friends? The skinless ones, I mean, but the green eyed one was..."
The girl turns, huddling in on herself. "Not real. I know. I know."
"I never said that."
"You said they were dreams."
"Yes, but that doesn't make them not real. Especially not in this between-kingdom in which you reside."
"But he is gone."
"Well yes. He has other obligations in the Lord Shaper's realm. Did you expect to get him for keeps?"
"Yes. No. I..."
"He likes you very much you know. He'd like it if you could keep him."
"I didn't know... that that was an option. Would the Lord Shaper be so willing to part with one of his creatures?"
Desire guffaws. "He is hardly the Lord Shaper's sole possession, my dear. Think of him as a contract employee."
The girl is downcast, pondering. "I would like... I would like very much to have him back, if that's possible."
"Permanently?" There is an uncomfortable ring of importance to the word which makes the girl flinch.
"I don't know about permanently. I don't even know about long-term. I don't know if I'm even fit to have him back!"
"But you'd like to. Don't bother lying to me, I can feel it burning inside you like a furnace. What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of losing this!" she flings her arms wide, encompassing the ballroom. "I'm afraid of sharing the realm I've built, that I've sweated, bled and struggled for! I'm afraid to lose myself in another man, afraid that next time, I might not find my way back again!" Her hands clasp and unclasp involuntarily, and she stares out the window. "It was so very comfortable in his oblivion. I'm afraid of how easily I might slip away into one that's similar. It's taken so long to remember who I am."
Desire looks at her over steepled fingers. "A trial period then? Some saftey built in, in case you feel yourself falling again?"
She takes a shuddering breath, eyes downcast.
"Sure. Why not."
